‘An inquiry of a meandering mind’ 23/072012
Inside I’m crying
By Paul Greet
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss
It often seems impossible to show people how desperate you are, desperate with every fibre of your being, screaming at a world that never listens, crying out for someone to say ‘I love you and I will support you for all that you are’. I know how the hurt and sadness grows inside you, feeling like a jigsaw with a missing piece that can never be found no matter how much you search. I know how much you punish yourself for not being happy you’re alive, for not finding that beauty in life. Forever wondering that if you were to look at yourself with someone else’s eyes, would you like what you see. I know when you cast your eyes and heart on the world around you, when you dare venture into the wide open space you can almost feel the pain of others piercing your heart like a knife.
When some of the things that have caused you the most pain in life, seem to stay with you and you cannot seem to let go no matter how hard you try. I know when your tears sting your face because you have cried that much. I know when your thoughts race so fast it feels like fireworks in your mind. And the constant battle between your head and your heart, I know these things because these are battles I face nearly every day.
The struggle with depression is not an easy one and these words are intended to reach out and hold the hands of anyone that faces their own battle with depression. Depression has no mercy, it comes in many forms and it cares not who it inflicts and it can grab hold of anyone at any time.
So these words wanted to let you know, you’re not alone, someone is listening, you can stop screaming and start accepting who you are, you are beautiful in every way. You are not broken, you do not need fixing, you just need acceptance. So when you feel like you’re losing the race with depression, reach out, I’ll hold your hand and we can cross the finishing line together.
The world is changing and there is an abundance of help out there, if you want it, I can’t always promise you I’ll have the answers I’m still searching myself, but I can promise you there is a future and it can shine. So next time you feel lost in the forest of life and you can’t find the path. I will listen and will endeavour to put you in touch with organisations that can support you if you need it.
Somebody loves you more than you know.
Keep on keeping on and thank you for being part of the conversation.